Bulimia -

Bulimia is a very serious and sad disease, unless you make yourself throw up by being tickled to much in a tickle fight.

High Finance

Financial company: All you do is give me 10 dollars and BAM your investment will look like a hockey stick on the returns chart.

Investor: I think I will just go for a real hockey stick.

Tag!

If she is the hottest girl you have ever been with you gotta play the game.

Very Scary, Be Afraid - Supreme Court of the United States SCoTUS

I worry that my friend will be a Supreme Court of the United States Justice some day, check it out:

Tellabs, Inc. v. Makor Issues & Rights, Ltd, 551 U.S. 308 (2007)

Concurring opinion of Antonin Scalia (in part)

“If a jade falcon were stolen from a room to which only A and B had access, could it possibly be said that there was a “strong inference” that B was the thief?”

...a Jade Falcon...

And mind you, it says "a" jade falcon, not "the" jade falcon. Scalia seems to have numerous jade falcon statutes floating around in the “what if” part of his brain.

Conclusion:
Apparently a proclivity for weird examples is a plus to have on a Supreme Court Resume

Hey Did you hear?

- OMG Did you hear what Kanye West did to Taylor Swift?

- I don't know who those people are... lol smily face, ya word magazine I heard.

- What do you think?

- About what?

- About what KWest did to TSwift.

- What a Jackass

- OH SNAP BaROCKED!

Golden Rule

Never wear pants without underwear on because you never know when you will be robbed and it could be very embarrassing.

Pot Called the Kettle WHAT?!?

If the kettle really is black then the pot is just a racist? If so, then it's not okay.

Gym Talk

Guy 1: Hey, how is the married life going?
Guy 2: Great been working a lot this week, have not seen to much of the wifey.
Guy 1: You avoiding her? Trying to keep her from getting to baby hungry?
Guy 2: Nah, I have reached the point now where I just want to get pregnant so she can have the kid while she is young and then just get back to looking good.

~Some guys at my gym

A funny birth defect

Sorry I am shaking so much I have Cerebral Lolsey

It's even bigger in real life

My organ is gigantic. Its piping is throbbing and pulsating with power. If you would like to see it, then come to St. Peter's church this Sunday for 9:00AM Mass.

internets

Google Search, it's Yahoo Search, but for cool kids.

REDBULL!

REDBULL IT GIVES YOU WINGS... AND CANCER.

Barack Obama Trading Cards?

How much mana does it take to cast a Joe Biden?

PUSH!

I liked the movie Push when it was called Star Wars. And "push" was called "the force."

The weekender

I drink to much to wear a scarf.