True Son

No man is useless,
He can always serve as a bad example.

House is the greatest show on television

"A whore can like the sex, but it does not mean that she is not a whore."
Thank you for the wisdom House

Terrible Book Ideas II

Papal Ruminations: Pontificating on the Pontiff

Up for Interpretation

Zachary Scott once said: “As you grow older, you'll find the only things you regret are the things you didn't do.” I bet he wasn’t thinking about date rape when he said that.

Hope and Optimism

Hope and Optimism -

Why are hope and optimism important? Hope and optimism gave men the courage to take an Oreo, an almost perfect product, and say "hey we can make it better." Thank you Hope and Optimism for the Double Stuffed Oreo.

Best Regards,

Lucklesshero

Winter time Pick Up lines

Snowmen should be put together like your woman. Packed high and tight.
~Thanks TV

I like my women like I like my toast. Black and with big titties.
~Dweeb

I like my women like I like Barack Obama. Secret Muslims and Presidential.
~What?

Fun With Modernity II

If you put a gas mask on something it automatically becomes modern art.

Terrible Book Ideas

Almost Squamous: The heartfelt story of a young Rolling Stones journalist who is diagnosed with cancer, but doesn't really have it.

Whil's Wisdom

Crispix is the thinking man's Cheerios. It has an architecturally sound structure. It has corn and rice. People who think it gets soggy too quickly are garbage. Get your bathrobe on, sit down with a good espresso, an insightful periodical and crunch into those hexagons like you're on death row.

~It's WHIL

After Thanksgiving Food For Thought

Chickens are just Cornish Turkeys.

What a modern day Voltaire would say:

I may not agree with what you have you say, but I will punch you to death so you stop saying it.

~The Fresh Prince of Voltaire

Check out Emo Lincoln...

http://www.flickr.com/photos/joefxd/2378412680/in/set-72157604423778692/

Nature's Mouthwash - Rinse well before bed

Some people say that snowballing is disgusting, I say it’s being a team player.

Mysteries of The Universe

Why is it that soft food become hard when it gets stale, but hard food becomes soft?

Good Quote

Winston Churchill once said: “If you can’t stand the heat, then get out the wild, wild, west!” No, wait, I think that was Will Smith.

A grand president

Teddy Roosevelt, antitrust;
Profriend...
and shooting bison.

Check out These Sheets:

The thread count is like a million.

Never Stand Down Wind

Presidents and their families quickly learn that even trips to the bathroom come with security precautions. Lyndon Johnson, never very subtle, had perhaps the most direct way of expressing his frustration. Once, after pulling his car over to the side of the road for a pit stop, agents quickly surrounded him as he relieved himself. A sudden breeze prompted one agent to alert the president, "Sir, you're pissing on my leg." Johnson, not budging, replied, "I know. That's my prerogative."

Tasty

You are as useful as a poop flavored lolliepop

Demotivational Thinking

Statistically, when you run you spend fifty percent of your time with your feet off the ground. Some people say that means half the time you are flying. I like to say that half the time you are standing on one leg. Like an idiot.

Most Popular Scientologist Bumper Stickers

Get behind me thetan!
PETA- People for the Ethical Trapping of Aliens
WWJTD- What Would John Travolta Do?

Fun with Modernity

I bet if Shakespeare were alive today, he would write away messages. Either that, or erotic Harry Potter fan fiction.

Go Vote Today Election Day November 4 2008

Question:
I lost my "I voted" sticker. How will people know that I voted today?

Answer:
Your swagger, the glint in your eye and that "I voted today" musk that will definitely linger about your general area for the next month or two.

Reply:
I found this voting FAQ very helpful and inspiring. I am going to go vote!

Admin Reply:
Stop blogging and go vote then. I better not see a reply...







mkay good.

Votertopalis - a vote filled city.

An Erotic Thought

If I watched 10 minutes less of porn every day, then I would have 2.5 extra days a year to try and find a real girlfriend.

Truth

It's only a gambling problem if you lose.

Work place haiku - it makes it a littles less akward and prevents you from staring.

Ties were invented
To hide the huge moose knuckle
Of your co-workers.

Louie knows what's up

Chance favors the prepared mind.
Pneumonia favors the young and the elderly.

Trouble -

Who knew that trying to sell "1 Child Shaped Object" on eBay would cause such a commotion?

Terrible

Like a bulimic girl at a Sunday brunch- it was nice, but I didn't get much out of it.

The Burrito

The burrito is the most efficient nutrient delivery system.

The Only Thing That Matters

When I play doctor, I play to win.

The Best Daily Away Message For Your Friends

Some times the best daily away message is a link to a great site that your friends will love.

I Bought a Roomba -

I bought a Roomba on woot.com
It cleans my room all day long.
At night, sleep with one eye open.
Never trust a robot.

Can't wait to buy iRobot Scooba.
Two Robots, two eyes.
God was wise.

So a Lawyer and a Doctor

A lawyer and a doctor walk into a bar and that's how the movie "Total Recall" was made.

The Times, They Are A-Changing

I volunteered at a homeless shelter yesterday. Nobody uses bindles anymore.

Mail time

Mail time was always much more fun on Blue’s Clues than it really is sitting in this cubical.

Going Nowhere

And so, like a puppy thrown into a well, we're stuck here- going in circles.

Idea from Steve!

When you are at out a restaurant, diner or eating establishment that has a napkin dispenser on the table. Take out half of the napkins and place them on the table. Take 1 napkin and proceed to write:

"Help I am trapped in a napkin factory"

5 Year olds - deadly, dangerous, determined

How many five year olds could you take if:

1. You are in an enclosed area, roughly the size of a basketball court. There are no foreign objects.
2. You are not allowed to touch a wall.
3. When you are knocked unconscious, you lose. When they are all knocked unconscious, they lose. Once a kid is knocked unconscious, that kid is "out."
4. Someone intent on seeing to it you fail gets to choose the kids from a pool that is twice the size of your magic number. The pool will be 50/50 in terms of gender and will have no discernable abnormalities in terms of demographics, other than they are all healthy Americans.
5. The kids receive one day of training from hand-to-hand combat experts who will train them specifically to team up to take down one adult. You will receive one hour of "counter-tactics" training.
   

Tigers

I once watched a Tiger eat a family of pandas. He was hungry again in ten minutes.