Wise Words From Max Beerbohm

You cannot make a man by standing a sheep on its hind legs. But by standing a flock of sheep in that position you can make a crowd of men.
- Max Beerbohm

Ben Franklin

He wanted the national bird to be the Turkey

One Time

One time I killed a man just to watch him die. But I blinked.

The best High five

I was walking down the street and I pointed to a guy and said "high five if you got soul!" I suddenly woke up in the ER. It was crazy.

At work

When I am at work I like to think that IBM stands for I Bowel Movement. So like, I poop. And then I always think to myself, "Yea I do." Then I hit the head for half an hour with a news paper.

The Rattle Snake

The Rattle Snake has such a mean bite. It's like Steel Reserve mixed with King Cobra and you are in the middle of Oregon trail. Clara is definitely dead.

All I heard

All I heard was that she was totally digging me until I passed out.

Round

How bout a round of high fives on this guy?